It's a wrap!

Hard to believe that after 18 weeks of prep, the show is here and gone....

The party got started pretty much from the moment Rosie got to my place on Thursday night and didn't end til we crashed last night. This weekend couldn't have been more perfect...Everything went smoothly, all according to plan..even a 5hr trip that ended up taking over 8hr was a blast. I wasn't stressed, nervous or anxious...this is what I do, this is what I love.

I followed the boss's plan to a T and it paid off, I brought MY best yet to the stage. From all the work in the gym, in the kitchen..to my hair, make up, tan and suit...the whole package I presented, I was proud of. I stood in a line up of figure women whom I respect and admire...I more than held my own, I placed 4th...4th in a Pro Show! That blows my mind..still. The competition was a tough one...The judges worked us HARD and to be real, posing practice was the one place I really lacked in my prep so it kicked my ass being up there as long as I was. I was sweating...literally dripping in sweat and I started to fade and tremble a bit, but I left it all on that stage...in that moment, it all came to fruition.

While I stood on the stage, was presented with my medal..It was a team effort in EVERY single way. I am blessed to be surrounded by some of the most amazing people I have ever met. While it's impossible to thank every single person who had a hand in my success, I do need to give my heart felt thanks to a few special ones:

*My coach, trainer and friend Joe Franco. He has been the guidance and the brains behind my off season of growth and without him I wouldn't be the competitor that I am today. The respect and admiration I have for him is unmatched. The family that is Team Franco Bodybuilding all played a key role in my stepping on stage...from Anthony and Lisa's help at posing classes to all of my team mates, whether we were 'competing' against each other or cheering from the sidelines..It was a group effort. It was a honor to prep WITH you all..to share the stage with my coach/mentor and team mates is a feeling that I will cherish.

*Mike Carrubba and everyone at Champion Nutrition. Without a shadow of a doubt, it was your support and faith in me that made this all possible...I can say with all my heart that I never would have taken the stage without having you in my corner. The package that I brought to the stage was Champion made!

*Rosie Valdez...my best friend, my sister, my wife...whatever way you slice it, you are my soul mate. This was OUR journey. We walked from 2010, through the roller coaster of 2011 and it all culminated to this moment. Through all the tears, laughter and pure, raw vulnerability..there isn't another person in the world that I would want to share this moment with. Thank you for all that you do, for everything you have brought into my life. I absolutely fuckin love you to bits <3

*To my family..those by blood and those by choice...Thank you all for being there, not just when I'm riding high, but through every low, you all helped pick me up and brush me off. My right and left arms..Rosie and Beckie..When I felt the air being sucked out of me, you gave me your breath to keep moving forward. Fiorani, I wouldn't have kept my sanity without you..For every text message, to food porn and straight up retardedness, it was an absolute blast sharing this experience with you. I am overwhelmed by everyone that came out to share this weekend with me...Jim, Joey, Saxton, Linds, Lance, Katie...those of you who couldn't make it, but I felt your love from afar..Chris, Theresa, Jaclyn, Kevin, Herb, D..From the calls and texts, PM's etc...You were all a part of this moment.

Thank you ALL for following along on the crazy train with me....
This is just the beginning!

2 Days...DEEP BREATHS!

2 Days from now, it will all be said and done...and I for one, CAN'T FUCKIN WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did my morning check in with Joe, sent the shitty pics over to him (yeah, that's my attitude at this point) and we continued forth with the plan for the day. A slight tweak to my macros..Bumped up my carbs and dropped protein and fats a bit. Overall, about 30g Fat, 160g Carbs and 120g Protein. Lemme tell ya, I am starving!!!!! My head is all over the place that in prepping my meals, I only broke my macros up into 5 meals instead of 6...Wow, was I pissed when I realized that! Anywho, cut back on my salt a bit today and dropped ALL sweeteners...No Walden farms, no crystal light...but I did give in and have some gum tonight. It's chew gum or my own arm at this point, I figure gum was the better option. I'm still feeling "eh" about my physique but a nice pump up workout in the gym was just what I needed...I was full, hard and vascular..Slap on some tanner and lets do this shit!!!!

Other than that, I'm spending the night prepping all my meals for tomorrow and Saturday thru showtime! I'm also getting all my shit packed up for the trip..everything for tomorrow, plus show day. I am an over packer..always afraid of forgetting something...everything! Literally..between my kitchen, bathroom and spare bedroom...my house looks like a fuckin bomb went off. But, things are coming together and one way or another I will be ready.

Right now, I await my wife's arrival..or as most know her...Rosie <3 She's spending the night at my house, helping me get ready...a night full of grooming..oh joy! Tomorrow, I have a morning check in with Joe...a final cardio session...drop my babies off at my Momma's house and then on the road we will go! It's about a 5+hr drive, then I have check-in, tanning and my polygraph...so yeah, busy day to say the least.

So for now I say, thanks for following along..
For those of you making the trip...I'll see ya in Richmond!
And for everyone else on the crazy train, I promise a full recap when I return!

CHOO CHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 is the magic number.....

 and hopefully I will magically get my shit together!

I did my daily morning check in with Joe, sent pics and some feed back on how I'm feeling. I really do hate the way I look first thing in the morning...and I'm not just talking the lack of make-up either! I feel flat, skinny etc..But, apparently that is a good thing LOL! I hit the gym for a light Chest/Delt and Tri workout...It was definitely a good morale booster. I had a solid pump, filled out, tightened/hardened up...but then I followed with a HIIT session and nearly threw up...I am just so over this cardio bullshit! So, as per the boss my nutrition/macros were the same as yesterday, I still salted my meals but I'm cutting back on my sweeteners/sugar free products and only having a small serving of dairy. Tomorrow, I'll be updating him again and kickin up the carbs a bit so let's see how that goes......

Other than that, I'm trying to get some sort of handle on all the shit I still have to do. Somehow between going to work, training and cardio..I still have to do my food shopping for the weekend, not pack yet, but get everything together...not to mention all the girly shit..nails, toes...blah! Doing it myself is definitely a money saver and I'm all about ghetto glam on a budget but UGH, I would so much rather go get it all taken care of...of course, not sure where I'd fit that into the schedule anyway. I have food prep and a TON of laundry that I need to do, good thing I'll be rockin old black clothes all weekend.

I really don't recall peak week ever being THIS hectic..Or, maybe it's just been that long since I've prepped...Eh, who can figure me out anyway. ((shrug))

Now, I'm off for some rest before another early yet busy day tomorrow!

T-minus 4 days!

Sometimes, I think this week is going by too slow...
Then, when I think of all the shit I still have to do, I feel like I don't have nearly enough time..I need more hours in my day! I'm just feeling all over the place...constantly running but not getting anywhere, oh well...I just have to relax and know it will all come together. ((If you know me, you know that was just me trying to convince myself LOL!)

Anywho....
I took a set of pics and set my info over to Joe. I was still not digging my look..SKINNY...YUCKY! but after breakfast and getting a nice pump during my workout, I was actually feeling pretty good about things...looked fuller/harder. I did a light back and bi workout, then followed it up with a half hour of steady state cardio.. My diet wasn't much different today, than yesterday..a bit lower in fat but carbs and protein were the same...still salting and chugging my water like a good girl. After sending my update to Joe, he did make some slight changes to the approach so I'll be updating him in the morning (again with the damn pictures!) and rolling from there.

And in not so shocking news....
I'm in full fuckin bitch mode today!
Seriously, everything and nothing is annoying me..For some reason people are mistaking my sarcasm for humor...No, I really think you're an idiot...I'm not being funny...Just GO AWAY! It's just one of those days where I am snappy for no reason and I'd much rather just be left alone.
(((and......breathe.....)))

Here's hoping for another good night of rest!
Til tomorrow.....

Go ahead...try to not sing along, dare ya!

5 Days to go....

Yep..Yep..Just 5 more days to go!

Today was my last leg workout. Nothing intense or heavy...lighter weight, as if I have any strength left anyway HA! and higher reps..worked in the 12-15 to 20 range. Extensions, leg press, leg curls, lunges...blah, blah...Overall a decent workout but nothing to get uber excited about..wrapped up my gym session with 40min of steady state cardio.

On the dieting front, things were much brighter today :) Yea, still not enough food to satisfy me but MORE than what I have had in a while..it was delicious! I'm still salting my meals and getting my water in, not as much as I think I should so I'm definitely going to put a little more focus on that tomorrow.

Macros:
40g Fat
130g Carb
130g Pro

Honesty, today was a down day. I really wasn't seeing anything worth getting excited about in the mirror. I actually felt skinny fat...yeah, I go from feeling like a skinny twig to feeling skinny fat...Try living in my head, I tell ya..it's frightening! Tomorrow I'll be checking in with Joe, sending pics etc so as much as I'm THRILLED about that (sarcasm much!?!) I'm looking forward to hopefully a little change in perspective.

Other than that, I've been a busy little bee getting things line up and organized for the weekend. The OCD freak of planning that I am is making my lists for what I need to do, when I need to do it, what I need to pack etc...It's enough to make my head spin, but things are rolling along and coming together.

For now, I'm looking forward to a good nights sleep and here's to waking up with a renewed mindset :)

6 Days.....

Today the mental roller coaster was a nutty one...I was VERY low, then I took an upswing!

I had to check in with Joe this morning after a few days on my final plan. My weight continues to drop and I was sitting at 109lbs this morning...WOAH! I sent him a round of quarter turns too and UGH, that damn near ruined my day. Again..I'm skinny and stringy...blah blah. I'm sure you're over hearing it, cause I'm over saying it! Overall, the boss says I'm in a good place and on the right track so to follow with the plan and check back on Tuesday...Yes, sir!

My plan for today was the same as yesterday..macros as well as training, or lack there of. I went to the gym for a HIIT session and a round of posing practice. After the gym, getting some errands done and an therapeutic 20min in the tanning bed, my upswing began and I was really feeling much better about myself. I was looking fuller and lean, veins were popping....now, if only I could figure a way to get a tanning bed backstage..just sayin' :)

In addition to all the gym, cardio and posing..of course, the tanning..I am getting all the girly shit taken care of as well.  Got my eyebrows did and finally got around to dying my hair...my bathroom and my skin is a mess but hey, this bitch is poor and I'm all about beauty on a budget LOL! Details like this make me wish I were a dude and could just shave my head...but then again, my head is WAY too huge for that!

CHEESE!

Ps: Tomorrow, I get carbs! Unfortunately it will NOT include dunking Oreo's in milk...whatever!

7 Days Out...

and let the mental mind-fuck continue........

Today was an "easy" day, if ya wanna call it that. I hit the gym for a HIIT session on the bike and put in some solid time working the heels..I know I'm depleted, blah blah...but I was just looking at myself and got so frustrated with how little and skinny I am...I look like a fuckin' twig :( I coulda threw my damn heel at the mirror! Yes, it was one of those kinda days..

My diet is very sad and leaves me hungry...SHOCKER! I slept in a bit this morning and was super busy running errands all day so overall, I wasn't toooooo preoccupied with my meals. Still salting each meal..had a wicked headache this morning as well..my body is like WTF!? I did struggle to get my water in today which is making me a bit nervous for my check in tomorrow..<biting nails>

Macros:
35g Fat
70g Carbs
130g Protein

 Random notes:
*Getting all the girly shit taken care of.
*Skin prep underway! Love LSR skin products..I would totally use their body butter year round.
*Got my huur cut...Relax before you bitches slit my throat! Just a trim and layers cleaned up...yes, it's still long...you can breathe.

Another short, but retardedly sweet post :))

Just one week from now......

I will be chilling in my hotel room all bronzed with some of my favorite people! SO EXCITED!!!!!

The plan for today, was the same as yesterday so nothing exciting to report...

I had a solid Delt and Bi workout followed by 45min of steady state cardio. I felt good, had a nice pump and the veins were poppin...overall a win!

Diet was the same approach as yesterday...so sad!
Macros:
35g Fat
100g Carbs
130g Protein

Again, I hit the gym in the morning, which means my carbs were consumed around my workout, so that made me a cranky girl the rest of the day. Meals were salted and baby girl was chugging the water...close to 2gals yet again, with ease. Oh and have I mentioned....I AM STARVING!

On a side note:
I was giving a novice BB some advice and perspective after his show last weekend and his drive and passion is so inspiring. I'm getting to the point of prep where I am dragging...Are we there yet!?!? But corresponding with him, hearing his energy and enthusiasm...desire to improve and the work ethic he has just helped to light my fire. I love how hungry he is....ya, know...slightly different than the hungry I am feeling right now ;-)

Anywho...
Til next time.....
:)

9 Days Out!

I started my final plan today, just 9 days to go.....

I trained this morning, Back and Hams followed by 45min of steady state cardio. Nothing exciting there, just getting it done.

As far as my diet goes...YUCKY!!!!
Macros:
35g Fat
100g Carbs
130g Protein

I train in the morning and I consume my carbs around my workout, so that did not bode well for the rest of my day :(  My food choices are still the same with the exception of some added salt and oh boy, can I tell the difference since I never add salt to my foods. It has mad me SUPER thirsty, as if I don't drink enough...I got about 2gal in today, give or take a few ounces.

Other random tidbits..
Check in, polygraph appt and music all taken care of!
Things are getting checked off the to-do list and baby gurl is on her way!!!!!


Til next time.....
:)

10 Days....Time to dial it in!

Oh hella yeah!!!!

10 Days Out from the IFPA Pro Bowl.....here we go!!!!

I had my check in with Joe this morning, stats/pics all the goods. I'm still sitting at 110.8-111.0lbs and feeling TINY! I feel 'skinny fat'...I'm very small and IMO too soft, but hey at this point it is what it is and I'm working with what I got. The boss sent over my "FINAL PLAN" this afternoon, which I will start applying tomorrow...I have to admit, I have been dragging and reached the point of prep where I'm like "Are we there yet?!?!" but getting my final plan to really bring all of my work together gave me the kick in the ass to battle through the last week and a half.

As far as my program goes, I will be updating my blog DAILY...I'm sorry in advance for my frequent rambling :) Each day my macros vary as does my cardio/training and I'll also give a little feedback on how I look and feel. Of course, nothing is set in stone as I have to update Joe and he may make tweaks along the way if he feels it's necessary.

Other than that, I'm getting all the details in order...
*Hotel, tan, make-up are all set
*In the process of setting up my poly
*Travel plans are pretty much set...Rosie and Nic on the road together, dont say I didnt warn ya!!!!
*Gotta send over my music later tonight
*Doing the girly shit this wkend..hair, nails etc.
*Posing...PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!!!
*Babysitter is set, just gotta confirm LOL!
*OCD list making is in full effect...but I will always forget something, always!

So here we go....
WEEEEEEEEEEEEE

12 Days and counting!

Yes, seriously...
12 Days Out!!!!

I've been rolling along with the changes the boss made after my last check in and in a nutshell I am a cranky, hungry, tired bitch..but, at this point, it is what it is. I followed up with him this morning, nothing exciting to report, weight is holding steady at 110.8lbs and I'll be touching base with him again mid week to send updated pictures and get my FINAL plan! SO FUCKIN EXCITED!!!!!!! *happy dance*

As far as how I am feeling...I think clusterfuck would sum me up LOL!
Seriously, I am exhausted...all the time! After nearly 18 weeks of prepping, dieting and training...NEVER a missed meal or gym session..I am so ready to do this. My energy levels are shot and I am pretty much useless by noon anymore. A restful night of sleep is hard to come by...I'm hot, I'm cold, I toss and turn..I get up to pee and then my growling stomach keeps me up..WIN! My workouts are just sad to be honest and each cardio session makes me want to vomit, but I'm getting it done. I am super irritable and snappy about everything and anything..for the most part, I just want to be left alone. I've come close to throwing my phone at the wall cause I just don't want to be bothered. I'm typically a very lazy person, but it's at a whole new level now...If it's not training/diet/prep related...There's a pretty good chance it's not getting done :)
Now, with all that complaining out of the way..I am also amped the fuck up to do this! I can see the finish line and it's crazy to think I'm so close. At this point, I am running on pure desire and passion...it will carry me through.

Random musings:
*I am STARVING!
*I still haven't tried on my suit...I'm scared Imma fuck something up.
*My daily headache has kicked in.
*Technology frustrates me. I still have to burn my CD for my Twalk and I am hoping to accomplish this without smashing my laptop.
*If one more person tells me how "lucky" I am or asks why I don't "look like this" all year round, Imma stab them in the throat. Let that be a warning.
*Aside from taking the stage, I am UBER excited for a weekend with my girls.
*Did you hear that?!?! Yea, that was my tummy :/
*Ritz crackers with PB would blow my mind right now!
*Aside from my feedings, the 20min I get in the tanning bed is the highlight of my day...and not just for the mint, but it's pretty delicious.

And before I go browse some food porn......
I want to take a quick moment and congratulate all the competitors who took to the stage this past weekend at the OCB Beyond Nutrition Natural in Burlington, NJ. Regardless of placings etc..You should ALL be proud of your journey. It was a fantastic show..from the promoter, to the expediters and everyone involved. It was great seeing everyone..Meeting new competitors and seeing the progression of others.
I look forward to seeing you all again....

I just love it....

I've got just 2 weeks until I take the stage and lemme tell ya, this last week was a rough one. Yes, physically I am beat...just exhausted but mentally is where I need to get a grip! Even without prepping, life carries it's own source of stresses and when piling prep on top of it all, I'm actually amazed that I haven't totally lost it....or have I??!

My moods are pretty much a roller coaster ride at this point. One minute I'm fine, the next I am snappy and a total fuckin' bitch...I'm a blink of the eye away from choking the hell out of someone or bursting into tears. My sleep patterns are DREADFUL! I will fall asleep for an hour, then up for the next 3...I toss and turn ALL night, can't get comfortable, belly is GROWLING etc. I'm usually ready for a nap by noon each day and considering I work, that isn't exactly doable. Knowwutimsayin!?!?

Now, with all that bitching out of the way...
I just wanted to take a hot second and thank all of my friends and everyone who has reached out to me, not only within the last couple weeks but really since the beginning of my prep or even throughout a long off season. One thing, IMO that people don't know about bodybuilding/physique athletes is the sense of family and community that brings everyone together. Yes, of course we are competing against one another on stage but in reality we are our own competition and the support from fellow competitors means the absolute world to me. People that I love, respect and admire have gone out of their way to offer words of advice, inspiration or motivation. I have friends who are prepping right along with me and sharing emails, texts and rants etc..I think most people (usually those who know jack shit about the sport) think everyone is catty and all that sort of shit but I can honestly say that this sport has brought some of the most AMAZING people into my world...People who's paths would have never crossed with mine in any other avenue and experiences that could have never been shared. That is one of the most under rated aspects of the bodybuilding lifestyle and it happens to be my absolute favorite.

So, with love...
from me to all my BB family <3
*drooooooooool*

 

17 DAYS OUT!!!! &^#$&%&

Really?!? 17 fuckin days already?!!?!?

Ready or not, this show is coming up with the quickness and now it's time to step it up....

I had my mid-week check in with Joe this morning..scale, pics, the whole sha-bang and OMG my weight is STILL dropping! I damn near had a heart attack when I saw 110.8lbs (((jaw drop)))
I never, ever thought I'd see 110lbs again and here I sit just over 2 Weeks from taking the stage and I am already at my previous show weight....with BETTER conditioning and size! That is what this is all about...bringing MY best! I took a quick run through my quarter turns and even though I was half asleep and didn't feel like taking pics, I can definitely SEE the changes. Overall, I got the thumbs up from the boss...he's happy with the way that I am coming in but no time to let up. He sent over some tweaks to my program and we are giving it a final push!

Lemme be real here...
I feel like shit LOL! Ok, that may be a weeeee but dramatic, but I am tired..hungry and very...VERY irritable. I know shocking right?!? As if I'm not bitchy enough when I'm well rested and fed *eyeroll* I can tell that everything is pretty much hitting me right about now...My strength and energy in the gym are sluggish, I am VERY short tempered...literally everything...and nothing is pissing me off. Mentally, I am so ADD and scatter brained..It's really annoying to be honest, I hate feeling like an idiot. I was actually asked if I was on drugs LMFAO!!!!! I cant pay attention to save my life, I'm incredibly forgetful..I'd lose my head if it weren't attached and I am just generally "out of it".

That's about it, short and sweet cause I could ramble on and on and it would basically amount to nothing...

It's not easy, but I'm giving it my EVERYTHING...or what's left of me :)
Ok, so here is the new course of action til my next check in.....

2.5wks out!!!!

Macros:

35g Fat/80g Carb/130g Protein (low)
35g Fat/110g Carb/130g Protein (med)
35g Fat/130g Carb/130g Protein (high)

Cardio:
4 45 min SS sessions per week
3 HIIT sessions per week (20 cycles)

Supplements:
Multi-V
Champion Nutrition Fish Oil
Champion Nutrition Thermo Gold *Thank you, sweet baby jesus!!!!

Champion Nutrition BCAA caps

Champion Nutrition Muscle Nitro PM

Champion Nutrition Power Creatine
Champion Nutrition Power Glutamine (post workout)
Champion Nutrition Amino Shooter Core (intra workout)
Champion Nutrition Whey (post workout/1 scoop)

3 Weeks Out!

.....Or 20 fuckin days out!!!!!!!!


It's been a crazy past few days, so much going on in my head and it's reached the point of my prep where EVERYTHING is coming together. Yesterday I not only checked in with Joe via my stats but it was also the last posing class before my show. After the slight tweaks made to my program, the scale got moving and I weighed in at 111.8lbs...Holy shit! At the beginning of my prep and even as things progressed, I NEVER...EVER thought I'd see a number that low again. Obviously, the boss gave me kudos on the progress but again, it all comes down to the LOOK..not the number...Excuse me while I continue to drill that into my head....daily!

Posing class went really well! I got some fantastic feedback on my progress and the package that I am bringing. The importance of posing can never be stressed enough...I've been busting my ass to get "stage ready" the last thing Imma do is half-ass my posing and let that effect my success...not.fuckin.happening! The key to posing and displaying YOUR best physique is knowing your strengths and weaknesses..everyone has them, learn yours and own them. My side and rear poses are by far my best, so I've been really putting the time in to nail them. With just under 3 Weeks to go, it's time to really step it up and put some serious posing time in...hitting the transistions and holding each pose..Aside from making it look effortless and flawless on stage, it helps with conditioning..the longer I hold them, the harder I get...wait? Wut?!

Anyone who's gone through a contest prep knows that for the most part, it's pretty ho-hum and uneventful...til the last few weeks where ya gotta get all your ducks in a row and that's pretty much what I've been spending the last week or so doing.....

Random notes:
*Hotel-->booked, Tan-->booked, Make Up-->booked!
*Suit is GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!
*Entry/Membership fees-->Check's in da mail! This shit in ON!!!!!!!
*Hungry?!? Yes I am, thankyouverymuch for asking :-P
*Thermo Gold is my crack...I am addicted and I don't care.
*Dieting clumsiness in full effect! This morning, I spilled a bottle of baby oil on my bathroom floor FML!!!!!! Do you have any idea what a pain in the ass that is to clean up?!?! Especially with 2 dogs who think it's for them?!!
*I peeded twice while typing this.

I do need to take a brief moment to thank everyone for the comments, texts, PM's etc after my last post. I was raw, I was honest and sometimes I forget that people read this..I don't plan what I'm going to write/talk about, I just type and it all kinda pours out. I really appreciate the words of support and encouragement.

And with all that babbled, just 20 days to go and I'm giving it all I've got.....
Macros:
35g Fat/90g Carb/140g Protein (low)
35g Fat/120g Carb/140g Protein (med)
35g Fat/140g Carb/140g Protein (high)

Cardio:
4 45 min SS sessions per week
3 HIIT sessions per week (15 cycles)

Supplements:
Multi-V
Champion Nutrition Fish Oil
Champion Nutrition Thermo Gold
Champion Nutrition BCAA caps
Champion Nutrition Muscle Nitro PM
Champion Nutrition Power Creatine
Champion Nutrition Power Glutamine (post workout)
Champion Nutrition Amino Shooter Core (intra workout)
Champion Nutrition Whey (post workout/1 scoop)

Getting a little emotional.

There pretty much comes a time, typically during the final weeks of prep where I tend to get UBER emotional.....

While this prep has had many different emotional moments, a few breakdowns along the way, moments of frustration and even moments where I wanted to quit...I have to say this week REALLY took me to the limit and I reached a breaking point today.

I sometimes do my best thinking in the tanning bed...please, hold your judgments for another time...kthx! As I lay there, my mind was racing and I literally just broke down into tears. Physically, this prep has been the "easiest" by far...from my training, to cardio and even the diet...My body has responded differently this go around and of course my energy levels are low and I'm hungry..that's to be expected but overall, I feel AWESOME...again, that's physically. Now, mentally speaking it has really been a rough ride. I can't help but continue to question myself and all the pressure I place upon my shoulders...I expect to be able to do it all and in reality, I'm not always doing what I "should". I set a plan in place when I won my IFPA Pro card in 2010 and I continued on that path towards this show...regardless of the obsticales thrown in my way...even those that were self-inflicted. If I were speaking to a friend, I would tell them to reevaluate their goals...it's not quitting, it's just re-focusing and altering the path a bit but when it comes to myself, I made a commitment and I will do whatever it takes to reach what I set out to do....I just ignore shit, put my head down and push forward...til days like today, when it all just boils over and I explode. It was bound to happen at some point....

Sacrifice: "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim"

Sacrifice is basically what it all boils down to. I am giving up/sacrificing this or that in the pursuit of my passion. I'm not just talking ice cream and cookies here...dieting IMO is not a sacrifice, it's just fuckin food...seriously. I make choices everyday, whether they are "right" or "wrong"..or whatever, but training/competing etc mean so much to me that I am willing to do what I need to do, give up whatever needs to get left to the side in order to do what I love.

I think a lot of competitors understand where I'm coming from and the sacrifices that must be made at times but where enough credit doesn't go is to the people in our lives who support, encourage and and in my case, make their own sacrifices for my happiness. I am beyond fortunate to have people in my corner who not only support my dreams but help push me toward them....
My sister, Rosie who has been there every step of the way over the last few years...through every up and down, words cannot express the impact she has made in my life. I shudder to think where I would be if our paths never crossed...I am so very lucky to share my life and my heart with a man who is by my side, no matter what..good, bad and even ugly. As a competitor himself (even tho our sports are very different), Josh knows what it takes to do what you love...He doesn't want me to just do it, he wants me to be my very best, to excel and that kind of unwavering support is priceless. Every time I feel like I am going to crumble, he has managed to help pull me together and give me faith that everything will be alright.

Life can be really fuckin hard, honestly..sometimes, it fuckin blows but I know that while the road is rocky right now, I still have a hell of a lot to smile about and in 3 weeks...yeah, just 3 teeny tiny weeks, I will be proud of how far I've come.

And with just 3 weeks to go, I dry my tears put on my big girl panties and I leave you with this <3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndL7y0MIRE4

Steppin it up!

I had my mid-week check in with Joe...stats as well as pics and with just over 3 weeks to go ((GULP)) the boss man is crackin' the whip!

My weight is pretty much holding steady. I was up about a half pound this morning, so I'm roughly 112-113lbs right now...As much as I KNOW better than to let that little box fuck with me, for a hot second there..it did BUT I quickly snapped back to reality. I then stripped down for the lovely round of progress pics..UGH! I fucking hate doing it :( They weren't horrible or anything like that so don't think I've totally lost what little marbles that I have left. I just do not photograph well at all...be it the lighting, my skin tone, not being able to set my poses, whatever..who knows and to be honest, who fucking cares?!?!! I can honestly say that I LOVE MY PHYSIQUE right now...yes, you read that right! No, I'm not 100% ready yet and of course, I am always looking to improve but I can say that even in a shitty picture or sweaty in the gym, I am happy!

At any rate, the boss clearly seeing the need to make some tweaking and with just 24...yea, 24 days to go we are gonna give it hell. No drastic changes, as we all know that isn't Joe's style ;-) We are dropping my carbs on both my "high" and "med" days...High, HA! To help bring the ass and hammies in a little tighter, I'm also adding some sprints to my HIIT cycles and an additional day of steady state cardio. As much as Imma miss my carbs and I hate cardio...the sick freak in me who loves this shit is thrilled to step up my game...This is what I live for!

And now it's time for Nic totally rambling about nothing and everything:

*I'm overwhelmed with all the shit I have on my plate...crossing T's, dotting I's and getting organized is going to send me to the loony bin.
*Due to diet changes, I now have to play with my spreadsheets ((sigh))

*Last night I was googling pictures of Oreo balls and I felt the need to text a friend..

*Apparently, I chew my gum as if someone is going to try and steal it out of my mouth.
*My BF's quad is bigger than my waist...That makes me giggle
*Having my hair down is a great disguise.
*I love baseball season...I am happy, sad, angry, depressed and excited all at the same time...and of course, it makes me CRAVE ballpark food! Can you smell the cheese steaks and crab fries!?!

Ok, bitches.......
3.5wks Out and shit is ON!!!!!!!

Macros:

35g Fat/90g Carb/140g Protein (low)

35g Fat/120g Carb/140g Protein (med)

35g Fat/140g Carb/140g Protein (high)

Cardio:
4 45 min SS sessions per week
3 HIIT sessions per week (15 cycles)

Supplements:

Multi-V

Champion Nutrition Fish Oil
Champion Nutrition Thermo Gold
Champion Nutrition BCAA caps
Champion Nutrition Muscle Nitro PM
Champion Nutrition Power Creatine
Champion Nutrition Power Glutamine (post workout)
Champion Nutrition Amino Shooter Core (intra workout)
Champion Nutrition Whey (post workout/1 scoop)

4 Weeks Out Update!

Oh hot damn!
Just 4 teeny tiny weeks til the Pro Bowl (((GASP)))

My check in this weekend was rather quick and to the point.
It went a little something like this:
Me: "OMG! I dropped a pound...down 112!"
Joe: "Keep going, send pics mid week"

And that is how the emails go when I'm happy LOL! As you can tell things are really moving along...the scale dropped AGAIN and I am looking tighter each day. I worked on some posing as well and I have to say I am REALLY happy with how I am looking!!! I am loving my physique right now and I am super excited to see what the last few weeks bring me.

Mentally and physically I am in a really good place. I have to admit, I love contest prep <3 I wouldn't do it if I didn't...Yes, I am hungry and I wanna eat like "everyone else" sometimes but overall, I am feeling fantastic. Watching my body transform, to see all the work in the off season finally come to light is a rewarding feeling. I genuinely LOVE the process and the journey I am on. It's far from over, but I'm embracing it every step of the way!

My brain is a wee bit scattered so here are some random tidbits for ya:

*My suit is FUCKIN beautiful! I started giggling like a little girl when I saw the finished product.
*Friends are now placing bets on what my stage weight and waist size will be...I think I should get some form of compensation..Just sayin
*Settled on my TWalk music (I think LOL!)
*This week I have been called "skinny"..Told I look like a "corpse" and a "crackhead"....From the general public, I'd say that means I'm about ready :)
*My show is May 5th! Did someone say Margarita's!?!?
*I sniffed a box of donuts and a jar of PB this week..Just stiffing, no touching....yet.

Now, I gotta get my ass to the gym before heading over to my brother's house for Easter with the fam. Yep, I'll be training Quads and hitting the step mill before eating outta Tupperware and watching everyone get their NOMZ on! Good times :)

^^^Imma rape this chocolate PB bunny!

Ok, so the plan of action remains the same til my next check in!
4 weeks out @ 112lbs!

Macros:
35g Fat/90g Carb/140g Protein (low)

35g Fat/130g Carb/140g Protein (med)
35g Fat/155g Carb/140g Protein (high)

Cardio:
3 45 min SS sessions per week
3 HIIT sessions per week (12 cycles)

Supplements:
Multi-V
Champion Nutrition Fish Oil
Champion Nutrition Thermo Gold
Champion Nutrition BCAA caps
Champion Nutrition Muscle Nitro PM
Champion Nutrition Power Creatine
Champion Nutrition Power Glutamine (post workout)
Champion Nutrition Amino Shooter Core (intra workout)
Champion Nutrition Whey (post workout/1 scoop)

Update and a little perspective....

This morning I had my mid-week check in with Joe and I have to admit...I was pleasantly surprised! I stepped on the scale and saw no change, not even an ounce..I'm still holding tight at 113.0lbs, so with a bit of mild disappointment I stripped down and ran through my quarter turns for the camera. Now, we all know I can be a teeny tiny bit hard on myself (can we understatement!?) but, even I could see the progress I have made from my last set of pics! At this point, the scale isn't really going to move much, if at all BUT as I lean out, it is more than clear in my pictures that my lower body is FINALLY tightening up and joining the party!!! Thank you, booty and hammies :)) This is the first set of pics that I have taken where I can genuinely say that I am pleased with how I look and that the next 4.5wks are going to really be something special. The scale is a tool, it doesn't tell the whole story and the bottom line is....the judges aren't going to ask my weight or BF% anyway! So, the boss is happy and there will be no changes to the program and I'mma rollin forward til my next check in!

Now please forgive me in advance for babbling.......

As I get closer to my show, I seem to have fascinating conversations with different people from all walks of life. Once common theme is most people have a lack of commitment and passion towards anything and it's really very sad. Yes, I am hungry and of course I'd love to have pizza for lunch but nobody is MAKING me do this...I love prepping, I love competing and I am genuinely happy with my life. I go to the gym cause I enjoy it..yes, in a sick and twisted way..even cardio! Watching my body transform is so empowering and rewarding...So please, do NOT feel sorry for me...Feel sorry for yourself and your lack of passion for anything.
And commitment...oh boy, people have a real issue committing to something and following it through. Now, I am not just talking about health or fitness, it really applies to anything in life. Everyone seems to have an excuse for this or that...says one thing but does another. There is nothing worse than the whole "do as I say, not as I do" approach to life..Set an example. Don't just talk about it, do it! Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words. You can run your mouth til your blue in the face but at the end of the day it's what you DO that makes you who you are and truly shows your character.
*jumps off soapbox*

I have to take a quick second to express my heartfelt condolences to the family of Omar Monroig. Those of you following my blog have most likely been touched by Big O in someway. Omar was more than just a fellow competitor, he was a friend. While we had never actually "met" he was always there to lend support, encouragement and shared many laughs and F-bombs with me. Unfortunately, our plans of taking the stage together will never come to fruition due to him being taken far too soon but when I take the stage in May, Imma show 'em how we do it...N is gonna fuckin represent for Big O!
Love you Big guy <3

5 Weeks Out!

It's update time again, folks...
Down to just 5 little weeks til I take the stage :o)

I had my check-in yesterday with Joe and overall it was a pretty uneventful week. There was a slight drop in the scale, but at this point the dramatic drops are behind me and every small ounce will make a difference. I'm holding steady at 113lbs even and just for kicks, I took my waist measurement and it's a teeny tiny 23.5 inches! Since I'm still making progress, there are no changes in the course of action as of now...My next check in will be mid-week so, until then...rolling along.

I spent some quality time with my sister, my love..Rosie, this weekend. We had a good girls day in the gym and put in a solid posing session. I'm definitely not conditioned for posing, so at this point forward, I plan on putting work in DAILY to make my posing and transitions flawless.

As usual, time with my girl allows me to get outside of my own head for a bit. I am having some mixed emotions as far as my physique is concerned. As I get leaner, I am seeing all the areas that I would like to bring up...Seeing where my symmetry needs work, areas that need size etc..I am feeling VERY little and I don't like it!..SHOCKING! I know that I have to keep things in perspective..and goal is to bring MY best and honestly, I am in the BEST shape of MY life...better than any time I've ever stepped on the stage and I still have 5 weeks to go. As much as I know the best is still yet to come and it's easy to pick at my flaws, I do need stop to give myself a little credit for how far I've come. Yes, if my off season was optimal then I would have made much more progress but the reality is...life isn't perfect. I had to miss time in the gym, work around injuries, my diet/supplementation were 'off" more often than not and I had to deal with life's obstacles as they came at me. I can say that I am PROUD of the woman that I am presenting...She is a work in progress and while I'm FAR from the finish line, I'm another step closer.

A lil 5 week...sneak peek:
And that's all you're gettin!

As of today, the plan of action remains the same...
5 Weeks out @ 113lbs

Macros:
35g Fat/90g Carb/140g Protein (low)

35g Fat/130g Carb/140g Protein (med)
35g Fat/155g Carb/140g Protein (high)

Cardio:
3 45 min SS sessions per week
3 HIIT sessions per week (12 cycles)

Supplements:
Multi-V
Champion Nutrition Fish Oil
Champion Nutrition Thermo Gold
Champion Nutrition BCAA caps
Champion Nutrition Muscle Nitro PM
Champion Nutrition Power Creatine
Champion Nutrition Power Glutamine (post workout)
Champion Nutrition Amino Shooter Core (intra workout)
Champion Nutrition Whey (post workout/1 scoop)

A little dose of my reality...

Warning: I'm tired and rambling and a wee bit crazy....again!

While taking a few moments to reflect upon my prep thus far, roughly 13 weeks or so into it...on one hand, it's been the "easiest" prep yet and on the other hand, it's been mentally/emotionally one of the most difficult.

As far as the prep itself is concerned, yeah I'm tired and hungry and I hate cardio but to be honest this is the least amount of cardio I've done prepping and I'm getting more food than I have during any previous prep so as much as I complain at times, it really has been a pretty smooth ride. Physically, I am in the best shape of my life and while getting to this point hasn't been 'easy' by any means..it's been (aside from my ankle LOL) relatively painless. Again, it's all a learning process of my body and how it responds to the program...for which I owe all the thinking to my coach, Joe who has made this prep (as well as my previous ones) as least stressful as it can be. Of course, fat loss is never a linear process so some weeks have been better than others and at times I do feel like I'm just spinning my wheels. In the scheme of things, I've made great progress and I'm ready to give it hell the next 5 weeks to really pull this show together!

Now to get a little raw and honest here...

where my mental/emotional stability are concerned, in a nut shell..Imma hot mess! Life has been absolutely nuts over the past few months, I have a lot on my plate and to be honest the responsible thing for me to do would NOT be prepping for a show. At times, I beat myself up..I feel like my priorities get so fucked up. I have a laundry list of shit that should come before competing but my heart is driving me towards the stage. I have days where I sit and cry, wondering WTF am I doing? Then I pick myself up and remind myself that if I want it bad enough, I will make it happen..no matter what! Everyday I make choices...and I can't help but think that I'm making the wrong ones as far as what is really in the best interest, in the big picture. I don't quit, no matter what, even when the smart thing to do would be to "redirect"...I commit, I'm all in...maybe to a fault to a certain degree. I've been doing whatever I need to do to be at my best on the stage, even if other things fall by the wayside in the process. The stress and pressure I put on myself can really be overwhelming at times and I see the toll it takes on others as well.

I am fortunate to have a solid support system to help me along the way and at times, save me from myself. Things aren't perfect, they never will be but this is the position I'm in and I'm working with what I have and doing the best I possibly can. Sometimes, I just need to slow the fuck down and catch my breath.....

And if you've read this and survived my insanity....this is for you:
Yes! That is a PB and Oreo Brownie *drooooooooool*